| ...*4 doz hu cant make love last*...
Relationships Are WORK!
One of your fellow readers sent me a
wonderful analogy, which I'd like to take the
liberty of sharing here. It goes something like
this:
Let's say you work for some imaginary
company. You've got a pretty good job,
and
you dont mind getting up every morning to
do
it. One day, the CEO calls everyone together
for a meeting, and announces that, from that
point on, official company hours will be 9 a.m. --
10 a.m. ONLY. That's it! From now on,
you'll
actively work on the business only one hour per
day.
Pretty crazy, isn't it? How can you possibly
expect to build a successful business, working
just one hour a day? Well, of course, you
can't.
Nobody tries to build a business with so little
effort. But, here's the key point: lots of
people
try to build a relationship that way. Is it any
wonder so many fail?
You know, it's funny. Just about everyone
I've
ever met in my entire life has wanted, or is still
wanting, to be loved. After the fundamentals of
food and shelter are taken care of, love is the
thing we desire most. And yet, so many people
don't want to work for it. They don't
want to put
any effort into retaining it. Or worse, they
don't
even understand that it DOES take effort. And,
it certainly takes more than an hour a day.
But, an hour a day is all many couples share
with each other -- if that. After you take out
hours for sleep, work, commuting, taking care
of the kids, homework, watering the plants and
doing the laundry, what's left? I know
it's hard
to find time to do anything, let alone focus on
your mate. But,you must do it!
Relationships take some effort. They don't
just
take care of themselves. After all, a
relationship is made up of you and another
person. If neither of you is at the steering
wheel, who is? You need to be together, and
talk together. Not just about "stuff," but about
each other, so you know how you're doing
as a
couple.
Can you imagine going to the doctor for a
check-up and having your entire exam
consisting of a discussion of last Monday
night's football game? You need to tell the
doctor exactly what you're feeling, and he
(or
she) needs to listen. Don't you remember
how
much fun it was to "play doctor" when you were
a kid?
But, seriously folks, you can't possibly
expect
to keep your relationship vibrant, fulfilling and
alive unless you spend some time on it. It
shouldn't be hard work, but it does take
effort.
At the risk of dangerously exceeding my
weekly quota of analogies, I'll add one
more.
Your relationship is like a houseplant. It needs
tending. Regular watering, a little food,
sufficient light and careful pruning now and
then. Like a plant, you can't just ignore your
relationship and hope it will flourish. Unless, of
course, it's a cactus. And, if you think that
sounds appealing, try hugging one. |
